Core Concepts
The struggle with substance abuse and addiction is a pervasive and exhausting battle that can lead to self-destruction.
Abstract
In this member-only story, the author candidly shares their experience with substance abuse and addiction, providing a raw insight into the constant battle they face. The content delves into the author's struggles with controlling their addiction, the physical and emotional toll it takes on them, and the relentless cycle of self-destruction they find themselves in.
Key Highlights:
Author describes the overwhelming sensation in their body like a constant soundtrack to a silent movie.
Despite attempts to gain control or surrender to it, the author feels defeated by their addiction.
Details of giving in to temptation, lack of sleep, and the unpleasant experience of coming down from substance use.
Author's struggle with physical symptoms such as trembling, nausea, and exhaustion from lack of sleep.
Stats
"I slept maybe two hours last night, if that."
"The last I did was around 6:00 PM last night."
"My eyes burn from lack of sleep."
Quotes
"I try to quell it. I try to gain control of it. I tried to surrender to it. I fail. Miserably. Defeatedly."
"I just lay there, trying to control my breathing. I succeed at my breathing but cannot slow the beating of my heart."