The Ineffectiveness of Being Hard on Yourself

Core Concepts

The author argues that being hard on oneself is ineffective and offers strategies to take a more emotionally balanced approach to performance.

Abstract

Being hard on yourself is not only ineffective but also a hard pattern to break. The author suggests creating psychological distance from self-criticism by personifying it, considering performance on aggregate, balancing what could go right with what could go wrong, time-boxing negative feelings, and broadening the definition of success.

Stats

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Quotes

"How can you take a more balanced, emotionally equanimous approach to your performance?"
"It helps to keep an eye on the bigger picture."
"Expand your definition of success by broadening your scope of what qualifies as a “win.”"

Key Insights Distilled From

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

by at hbr.org 05-31-2021

https://hbr.org/2021/05/stop-being-so-hard-on-yourself

Deeper Inquiries

How can we apply these strategies in other areas of life?

The strategies mentioned can be applied in various areas of life, such as work, relationships, and personal development. For instance, personifying self-criticism can help in dealing with criticism from others at work or in relationships. Considering performance on aggregate can help in evaluating progress over time rather than fixating on individual setbacks. Applying the concept of what could go right alongside what could go wrong can help in decision-making and risk assessment. Time-boxing negative feelings can be beneficial for managing stress and emotions in different situations. Expanding the definition of success can lead to a more holistic approach to personal growth and achievement.

What are the potential drawbacks of not being hard on oneself?

While it is important to avoid excessive self-criticism, not being hard on oneself may lead to complacency and a lack of motivation for improvement. Without a healthy level of self-assessment and accountability, individuals may struggle to reach their full potential. Additionally, not being hard on oneself might result in overlooking areas that require attention or neglecting personal growth opportunities. It is essential to strike a balance between self-compassion and constructive self-evaluation to maintain a drive for continuous improvement.

How does emotional balance impact overall well-being?

Emotional balance plays a crucial role in overall well-being as it contributes to mental health, resilience, and effective coping mechanisms. When individuals achieve emotional equilibrium, they are better equipped to handle stress, navigate challenges, and maintain positive relationships. Emotional balance also fosters a sense of inner peace and contentment, leading to improved mental clarity and decision-making. Furthermore, it reduces the likelihood of experiencing burnout or emotional exhaustion. Overall, maintaining emotional balance positively impacts one's physical health, productivity, and quality of life.