näkemys - Family Medicine - # Parental Guidance on Polite Behavior

Parental Advice on Manners: "Don't Ask, Wait to Be Offered"

Q: How might this parental approach to manners impact a child's development and ability to advocate for their own needs?

The parental approach of "don't ask, wait to be offered" can have both positive and negative impacts on a child's development. On the positive side, it can instill good manners and consideration for others in the child. By waiting to be offered things, the child learns patience, gratitude, and the importance of not being overly demanding. However, on the negative side, this approach may hinder the child's ability to advocate for their own needs. If a child is always taught to wait to be offered things, they may struggle to speak up for themselves, express their desires, or assert their needs in various situations. This could potentially lead to issues with self-advocacy and assertiveness in the child's future interactions and relationships.

Q: What are the potential drawbacks of always waiting to be offered things rather than asking directly?

One of the main drawbacks of always waiting to be offered things rather than asking directly is that it may limit the child's ability to assert themselves and communicate effectively. By constantly waiting for things to be offered, the child may miss out on opportunities to practice asking for what they want or need. This could result in a lack of assertiveness, confidence, and communication skills, which are essential for navigating various social situations and advocating for oneself. Additionally, always waiting to be offered things may lead to a sense of passivity or dependency, where the child relies on others to fulfill their needs without taking initiative or expressing their preferences.

Q: How can parents strike a balance between teaching polite behavior and encouraging their children to be assertive and communicate their desires?

Parents can strike a balance between teaching polite behavior and encouraging their children to be assertive and communicate their desires by incorporating a combination of approaches. Firstly, parents can continue to emphasize the importance of good manners, gratitude, and consideration for others, as these are valuable qualities to instill in children. However, parents should also actively encourage their children to express their needs, desires, and opinions in a respectful and assertive manner. This can be done by creating a safe and supportive environment where the child feels comfortable speaking up, practicing active listening, and validating their feelings and perspectives. Additionally, parents can model assertive communication themselves and provide guidance on how to assertively communicate needs and boundaries. By striking a balance between teaching polite behavior and encouraging assertiveness, parents can help their children develop a well-rounded set of social skills that will serve them well in various aspects of their lives.

Keskeiset käsitteet

Asking for things directly is considered rude, and it is better to wait patiently until an offer is made.

Tiivistelmä

The content describes the author's experience with a common parental rule they grew up with - "Don't ask! Wait to be offered!" This was a mantra in the author's family, as their parents believed it was more polite to wait for an offer rather than asking directly for something.

The author acknowledges that their parents likely had good intentions in instilling this rule, as they did not want to raise "greedy, demanding little brats." Other polite behaviors, like remembering to say "thank you for having me" when leaving someone's house, were also drilled into the author and their siblings.

The core message is that the parents viewed asking directly for things as rude, and they preferred the children to wait patiently until an offer was made. This parental guidance on proper manners and etiquette was a significant part of the author's upbringing.

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Lainaukset

"Don't ask! That's rude! Wait until you are offered."
"To ask for something or to ask for more, was in their eyes, plain rude."

Tärkeimmät oivallukset

Don’t Ask! Wait To Be Offered!

by Chantelle At... klo medium.com 07-28-2024

https://medium.com/the-honest-perspective/dont-ask-wait-to-be-offered-9625a68131b0

Syvällisempiä Kysymyksiä

How might this parental approach to manners impact a child's development and ability to advocate for their own needs?

The parental approach of "don't ask, wait to be offered" can have both positive and negative impacts on a child's development. On the positive side, it can instill good manners and consideration for others in the child. By waiting to be offered things, the child learns patience, gratitude, and the importance of not being overly demanding. However, on the negative side, this approach may hinder the child's ability to advocate for their own needs. If a child is always taught to wait to be offered things, they may struggle to speak up for themselves, express their desires, or assert their needs in various situations. This could potentially lead to issues with self-advocacy and assertiveness in the child's future interactions and relationships.

What are the potential drawbacks of always waiting to be offered things rather than asking directly?

One of the main drawbacks of always waiting to be offered things rather than asking directly is that it may limit the child's ability to assert themselves and communicate effectively. By constantly waiting for things to be offered, the child may miss out on opportunities to practice asking for what they want or need. This could result in a lack of assertiveness, confidence, and communication skills, which are essential for navigating various social situations and advocating for oneself. Additionally, always waiting to be offered things may lead to a sense of passivity or dependency, where the child relies on others to fulfill their needs without taking initiative or expressing their preferences.

How can parents strike a balance between teaching polite behavior and encouraging their children to be assertive and communicate their desires?

Parents can strike a balance between teaching polite behavior and encouraging their children to be assertive and communicate their desires by incorporating a combination of approaches. Firstly, parents can continue to emphasize the importance of good manners, gratitude, and consideration for others, as these are valuable qualities to instill in children. However, parents should also actively encourage their children to express their needs, desires, and opinions in a respectful and assertive manner. This can be done by creating a safe and supportive environment where the child feels comfortable speaking up, practicing active listening, and validating their feelings and perspectives. Additionally, parents can model assertive communication themselves and provide guidance on how to assertively communicate needs and boundaries. By striking a balance between teaching polite behavior and encouraging assertiveness, parents can help their children develop a well-rounded set of social skills that will serve them well in various aspects of their lives.