The author expresses a deep struggle with being highly self-aware, to the point where it has become a hindrance rather than a benefit. They describe a cyclical pattern where they quickly identify the reasons behind their emotions and behaviors, but this self-awareness then becomes a target for further self-criticism and self-doubt.
The author feels trapped in this cycle, unable to find a way to "exorcise" their "demons" despite their keen self-understanding. They question whether seeking help from therapists, friends, or family would be useful, as they already know the root causes of their issues. The author laments the loss of opportunities, relationships, self-worth, and pride due to this overwhelming self-awareness.
Ultimately, the author expresses a desire to be less self-aware, as the constant self-analysis and inability to resolve their internal struggles has become a heavy burden to bear. They feel stuck, unable to move forward despite their self-knowledge, and desperately wish for a way to find relief from this debilitating self-awareness.
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by at medium.com 07-11-2024
https://medium.com/@thekidultwriter/please-i-am-so-self-aware-and-i-wish-i-wasnt-a55298309d20Deeper Inquiries