Core Concepts
After a decade of marriage, the essence of romance shifts from suspense and proof-seeking to a deep sense of acceptance and understanding, making it okay to be human.
Abstract
In long-term marriages, traditional notions of romance evolve from thrilling suspense and proof-seeking to a profound acceptance of each other's humanity. The author highlights that true romance lies in surviving life's challenges together without losing sight of the mundane yet deeply intimate moments shared. The narrative emphasizes that real romance is not about grand gestures but about embracing the messy realities of life with a partner who accepts you unconditionally.
Stats
"my tenth anniversary is in a few months!"
"And this version of romance peaks at the exact moment when you think, Holy Christ, I really am going to melt right into this other person"
"But once you’ve been married for a long time (my tenth anniversary is in a few months!), a whole new kind of romance takes over."
"It’s not even the romance of “Whoa, you bought me flowers, you must REALLY love me!” or “Wow, look at us here, as the sun sets"
"That’s dating romance, newlywed romance."
"After a decade of marriage"
"You’re still fixated on whether it’s really happening."
"What you have instead — and what I would argue is the most deeply romantic thing of all — is this palpable, reassuring sense that it’s okay to be a human being."
"Because until you feel absolutely sure that you won’t eventually be abandoned"
"It’s one thing for a person to buy you flowers"
Quotes
"True romance lies in surviving life's challenges together without losing sight of the mundane yet deeply intimate moments shared."
"Real romance is not about grand gestures but about embracing the messy realities of life with unconditional acceptance."