Core Concepts
Relapses are a normal part of the journey to break bad habits. The key is to focus on progress, not perfection, and to be kind to yourself during the process.
Abstract
The author shares their personal experience with trying to break bad habits like smoking, scrolling, and pornography. They describe the frustration and self-hatred that can come with repeated relapses, and the temptation to "start from zero" each time.
However, the author realized that despite the relapses, they were still making progress in other areas of their life, such as winning a competition and doing well in their studies. This helped them recognize that they were not a "failure" just because they relapsed, and that their identity and worth were not defined by their bad habits.
The author outlines three key steps to overcome relapses and build lasting change:
Identify the specific bad habits you want to stop and why.
Eliminate triggers and use tools to limit temptations.
Focus on winning small battles first, gradually increasing the challenge. The author suggests aiming for 30 days without the bad habit, as this can help reset the brain.
The main message is to be patient, celebrate small wins, and avoid self-punishment. Relapses are a normal part of the process, and the key is to keep moving forward with self-compassion.
Stats
"I did go to a competition and achieve 2nd place in a competition. I did great in my classes and my assignments. I don't smoke too much; I still write and study every day."
"After 30 days, most of the bad habits and addictions start to feel stupid and easy to remove."
Quotes
"It's not about how perfect your progress is, but how you manage to get back up after each and every fall."
"Even if I relapsed, I didn't become a failure; nothing changed in myself as an identity."
"If you don't love yourself, why would you spend time and patience improving something you don't love?"